The 3rd Agreement

The 3rd Agreement [Don´t make Assumptions]

Don’t Make Assumptions........ 

                                                                                                             

 Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with
others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one
agreement, you can completely transform your life.

 We have our tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making
assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.

 Whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we
misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

 The whole world of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things
personally.

 Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and we believe we are
right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else
wrong. It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption, because assumptions
set us up for suffering.

 It is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption. In any kind of relationship we
can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’t have to say what we
want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they don’t do what
we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt. A whole drama is created because we
make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it.

 The human mind needs to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to
feel safe. We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things
that the reasoning mind can’t explain. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the
answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions.

 Even if we hear something and we don’t understand, we make assumptions about what it
means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t
have the courage to ask questions.

 These assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously most of the time because we have
agreements to communicate this way. We have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions; we
have agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. When we
believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy
relationships in order to defend our positions.

 We make the assumption that everyone sees life he way we do. We assume that others think
the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse.
This is the biggest assumption that humans make.

 We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot of inner conflict.

 Just imagine the day you stop making assumptions with your partner and eventually with
everyone else in your life. Your way of communicating will change completely, and your
relationships will no longer suffer from conflicts by mistaken assumptions.

 The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure the
communication is clear. Have the courage to ask the questions until you are clear as you can be,
and then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation. Once you hear
the answer, you will not have to make assumptions because you will know the truth.

 Without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable.

 With clear communications, all your relationships will change

 Becoming aware of these habits and understanding the importance of this agreement is the
first step. What will really make a difference is action. After many repetitions these new
agreements will become second nature.

 By making this one agreement a habit, your whole life will be completely transformed

Back to [The Apotheosis]

[The Four Agreements ]

The 2nd Agreement

The 2nd Agreement - [Don´t take anything personally]

Don’t Take Anything Personally...........

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 Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality,
their own dream. When you are immune to the options and actions of others, you won’t be the
victim of needless suffering.

 The next three agreements are really born from the first agreement. The second agreement is
don’t take anything personally.

 Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”. During the period of our
domestication, we learn to take everything personally. We think we are responsible for
everything.

 Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. Even when a situation
seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. The opinions
they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view
comes from all the programming they received during domestication.

 When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your
beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little, because you
have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You also try hard to be right by
giving them your own opinions. Whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own
personal dream, a reflection of your own agreements.

 It is not important to me what you think about, and I don’t take what you think personally. I
know what I am. I don’t have the need to be accepted. Others are going to have their own
opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but
it is about them.

 Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful
you are, they are no saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not
necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.

 Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need
to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.

 There may be times when you have ideas that don’t originate in your mind, but you are
perceiving them with your mind. We have a choice whether or not to believe the voices we
hear within our own minds, just as we have a choice of what to believe and agree with in the
dream of the planet.

 When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many aspects in
your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply
disappear if you don’t take things personally.

 You can see how important this agreement is. Taking nothing personally helps you to break
many habits and routines that trap you in the dream of hell and cause needless suffering. Just
by practicing this second agreement you begin to break dozens of teeny, tiny, agreements that
cause you to suffer. And if you practice the first two agreements, you will break seventy-five
percent of the teeny, tiny agreements that keep you trapped.

 As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you will only need to place your trust in
what others say or do. You will only need to trust your-self to make responsible choices.

Back to [The Apotheosis]

[The Four Agreements ]